Tag Archives: Lifestyle change

by | November 3, 2011 · 6:00 am

It’s Difficult to Change

Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

A group of scientists and researchers put five monkeys in a cage, in the middle of the cage was a ladder.  On top of the ladder was a bunch of bananas. When a monkey climbed the ladder to catch the bananas and reached the top, a jet of cold water was thrown on the others who were on the ground.

After a certain time, when a monkey climbed to catch the bananas, the others took him off the lader and spanked him. Later on, no one climbed the ladder anymore, in spite of the temptation of the sweet treat at the top.

Next, one of them was replaced by a new monkey. The first thing he tried to do was to climb the ladder, but he was taken off by the others who spanked him. As he was not able to reach the top, the others did not receive the jet of cold water. After some spanking, the new member of the group stopped trying to reach the bananas anymore.

A second monkey was replaced in the cage and the same thing happened to him. The first one took part, with enthusiasm in the spanking of the new one. A third was replaced and the same thing happened. A fourth, and finally the last one of the members of the group was replaced.

The researchers, then, had in the cage a group of five monkeys who had never received a cold bath through were still spanking the one who tried to reach the bananas. If it were possible to ask any of them why they spanked the one who tried to climb the ladder, surely, among the answers the most frequent one would be:
“I don’t know, but things have always been like this around here.”

Are there actions that you are taking in your business or your life that originally had a life affirming reason for being part of you, but no longer serves you? For example:

  • What did you have for breakfast;
  • How you respond to survey calls;
  • How your respond to solicitation visits;
  • How you respond to requests for help;
  • How you ask for help.

During this week of transition, check out what is on auto-pilot, and why is the banana in your life still hanging there above the ladder?

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Filed under Image & Identity, Intentions, Intuition, Motivation, Personal Transitions, Social Media

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by | October 6, 2011 · 5:00 pm

Good Grief

Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

This month is all about transition.  Many transitions need to move through a stage of grief.  What’s the difference between “good grief” and a pity party? As a business decision, I closed my massage practice of 17 years last week. I knew it was the right decision, but I’ve been grieving the loss of my connection to many wonderful people, and my chance to contribute to their lives.

I really wanted to avoid the pity party, but in doing so, I also ignored a very real emotion that was welling up, and I found myself with a lump in my throat that I even tried to imagine was a cold coming on!

“Good Grief” for me this week is self-care:

  1. Crying when I need to
  2. Sleeping when I want to
  3. Staying in meditation as long as I can
  4. Allowing a wound to heal

It made me think, that if I were cut, I’d take care of the wound, keep it clean, keep it safe from any further tearing, and spend very little time in a pity party. I’m learning a lot about good grief.

What resources do you use to give space for grief while honoring your own integrity and intention toward your future?

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Filed under Business Transitions, Inner Coach, Intentions, Personal Transitions, Sheryl Eldene

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by | April 28, 2011 · 8:00 am

WHAT matters, check HOW at the door….

By Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

I ran across a quote of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. this week which really caught my eye –

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

This is especially appropriate as we finish this month’s focus on setting intention. So many times, our choice of a goal gets dumbed-down because we can’t figure out how it’s going to happen, or, as Dr. King said, we can’t see all the steps between here and there. Part of the art of setting intention is just setting it and having trust in your own inner courage and power to move in that direction, knowing that there is a way, and your feet will find it – maybe even in spite of your mind which is wildly trying to think up HOW.

Years ago I used to write down everything I wanted in my life as a New Year’s day activity.  Since I was flying private airplanes at the time, one of those things was to have a home that backed onto a private airstrip so I could just pull my plane out of the hanger next to my house and take off.  Of course I couldn’t see the end of that staircase, but it went on my list anyway.  Same with the swimming pool I thought would be lovely in my backyard, and the business I wanted to start.  None of those dreams came with a how, they were just MY DREAM.  Truth be told, a year or two later, I wasn’t interested in the pool (too much to clean, and too risky for my children’s safety) or in the home on an airstrip (too noisy and isolated from the city) and I’ve run my business successfully now for 18 years even though I put that on my “Dream” list 30 years ago.

WHAT intentions would you set if you didn’t have to come up with the HOW first?

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by | February 24, 2011 · 7:57 pm

Manifestation through Balance

<div class=\"postavatar\">Manifestation through Balance</div>

by Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

During my corporate career, I was successful by using my strong will to drive myself to complete projects, and to please my employers. When I left corporate, quite burned out from 20 years of using that strong will, I was determined to run my private practice from the heart -to discover how to run a business as a spiritual practice.

What I’ve discovered over the last 15 years of managing the On Purpose Living center, is that without the discipline provided by that will, I can spend way too many hours playing computer games, creating new web pages and creating action steps that don’t get done. I am a powerful counselor, able to be fully present and to provide spot-on support when needed in my counseling room. However, without the discipline, I just jelly-fish my way through a feel-good day, if you know what I mean.

When I finally got very focused on what gifts I want to bring forward into the world and how I want that business to take shape, I began to see how those opposites of using my will OR my passion was holding me in an old belief pattern of the poor therapist OR the rich, heartless CEO. I am now on a mission to heal this distortion in my own life, and to create a successful business through helping people to bring their gifts forward and to become masters at manifesting wealth. Not specifically for the wealth (although that is important, too), but as a external mirror to the inner process of clearing, and allowing more and more of the abundance of the universe all the way through my heart into the core of our planet.

Yes, it is Big Dreams and Hard Work, but when that work is done purely from a strong will and without the passion of the heart, then it’s driving and striving, and eventual burn-out.

If you or someone you know is curious about the possibilities, let us know.

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by | February 18, 2011 · 12:54 am

New Habit? Keep Those Glasses ON

<div class=\"postavatar\">New Habit? Keep Those Glasses ON</div>

By Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

You may have heard that to change a habit, you need to practice the new lifestyle for 6 weeks for it to become your own. We have some interesting information now about how malleable the amazing brain is – it’s called the plasticity of the brain. Our brains are constantly adapting to our environment to a much greater extent that we ever recognized.

Well, here’s the story. Several years ago, NASA created eye glasses for astronauts that reversed images both right-left and up-down with the intention of helping them adjust more easily to weightlessness when up and down was not a given. They were to wear the glasses absolutely constantly whenever their eyes were being used (work, shower, eat, everything). To their surprise, they found that the brains of the astronauts completely rewired to correct the image by day 30. Amazing, huh? Here’s the other interesting part. When someone removed the glasses for just one day, say day 15, then the countdown began all over, at day 1, needing an additional 30 days to rewire.

When you create your written goals,  make a note of the day you begin and every single day for a full 30 days, speak an affirmation about that goal, feel the feeling of manifesting, look at the vision pictures, experience the joy of manifestation.  What have you tried that successfully helped you change a habit, and create a new part of your lifestyle?

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