by | April 10, 2012 · 9:53 am

Business As Usual… or Breaking Point?

By Karel Murray

I had no idea how long two straight weeks on the road really was.  It seemed like a great idea when I booked the five engagements in four different states.  The travel itinerary flowed logically and I certainly did not want to disappoint my new and repeat clients.  So… I lifted my pen, made my travel plans and grinned like a fool.  I felt efficient and effective.

The reality of extensive travel slapped me in the face when my first flight had a delay of 3 hours.  It only went downhill from there.  Envision borrowed toiletries because of misplaced luggage, overheated planes, and surly hotel staff overworked and under motivated.  I had a regular movie of the week plot line.  Thank heavens I approached it like a comedy.

The stress I place on myself to achieve professional goals has to have a negative impact on me.  Couple that with menopause symptoms, insanity can’t be but a step away.

What I missed most was the casual conversation with my husband, Rick, the playful welcome of the two Airedale dogs, and the comforting lump of a cat curled contentedly at my side while I slept.  What I need is a hotel that offers surrogate pets to fill the emotional void.

Because I travel so much, I watch the behavior constantly of other people.  The variety of personalities always astounds me.  During this two week stint, I couldn’t help but zero in on individuals who couldn’t sit still.  Cell phone and impassioned discussions with work counterparts fill the air as the talkers stride down the airport halls.  Legal and personal issues are discussed openly with little regard for confidentiality.  Faces creased with concern, papers shredded in clenched hands and rolling of the eyes to others who happen to catch their notice, all belies an atmosphere of business as usual.  It makes no difference that they are juggling several things at once.  Or does it?

The significant paradigm shift for my generation revolves around the immediacy of communication.  We used to call places and leave a message if the people we wanted to speak to weren’t there.  Now, we call people.  I’ve heard individuals have cell phone conversations in bathroom stalls, along the street and during their grocery shopping excursions.  Cell phones clipped prominently on a belt announces to the world “I’m someone that others want to call!”  I swear competitions will evolve around who is the fastest draw off the belt in answering that urgent ring.

My question is – Do we really have to be that available?  What ever happened to “down” time? During the fourteen day tour of bookings, other work surfaced.  Now faced with handling the keynote and training sessions as well as those business items piling up at home, stress continued to mount.

How did I know I was stressed?  I woke up at 3:00 AM five nights in a row to make sure I hadn’t over slept the 6 AM wake-up call.  No peaceful rest for me…there was business to attend to!

I’ve recently been appointed to plan a national convention in Las Vegas.  Never mind that I’ve never done this before.  Worries about venue space utilization, programming, food, and participant response accumulate into a persistent hum of duties to coordinate, check lists to complete and people to e-mail.  The possibility of allowing a critical convention item fall through the cracks is unthinkable.  Too many people are counting on me.  Add tracking down a presenter who will become the “face” of the conference only adds to the stress.  I will never again, as a speaker, assume the meeting planner can read my mind or know my location without a global positioning system tuned into my frequency.

Over last few years, I’ve learned my personal “business as usual” mentality may not coincide with the standards of someone who hires me.  My day often ends by 6:30 PM… that just won’t do when I’m teamed up with an individual who feels their business needs to be addressed at 8:30 PM.  And there’s the rub … we come full cycle – like a hamster on a wheel – spinning constantly to stay upright and on top of things.

Having the opportunity to speak with other presenters and road warriors, I’ve discovered that our need to succeed and be perceived as competent, efficient and effective often interferes with our duty to take care of our bodies, minds and family.  A good friend of mine, Ryan, recently suffered a severe heart attack… healthy one moment, in the hospital the next.  When the physician told him to take six weeks off work, Jake’s immediate response was “I can’t!  The backlog of work will be too much and probably give me another heart attack from the stress of playing catch up!”  The physician, with obvious misgivings, shortened the recovery period to two weeks and included strict dietary instructions

It wasn’t until Jake and I both read Fast Company’s May issue article that cited research indicating only 1 out of 10 people would actually change their lifestyle if they knew they were going to die without the making the necessary changes.  Jake’s face paled visibly after reading the article and he suddenly made the conscious choice to live.  He was going to tak the full six weeks off work.  End of story.

I’ve learned some fundamental lessons regarding business – the most disturbing one is that I’m dispensable.  There will always be someone else who can step up and fill my professional shoes.  I can’t be duplicated, but the tasks themselves will miraculously be completed with or without me.

The process of living our lives is harsh, demanding, and unpredictable, yet holds an infinite opportunity for joy, fulfillment and awareness of those around us.  When I returned home from that long trek on the road, I immediately implemented a plan to change the way I do business in 2006 and beyond.  Hiring a coach, redirecting my efforts, narrowing my focus and understanding the value of a fulfilling home life must merge or I may very well reach a breaking point that can’t be repaired.  I’d like to share my observations with you now:

8 Commitments To Achieve A Positive Lifestyle:

  1. Take inventory of what makes you genuinely happy.  As you list each item, evaluate what you do every day to ensure that source of joy remains solidly planted in your life.  Also list things you do that jeopardize your ability to be happy.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and don’t even know it.
  2. Be accountable for the decisions you make.  Every time you say “just a minute while I finish these e-mails” and you end up missing dinner with your spouse, understand you chose to stay “plugged in” to the business.  It doesn’t control you…you control your choices.
  3. Learn to turn off the phone…voice mail was created for a reason.  If you do make a phone call, be focused on the conversation rather than split your attention and give only half effort to the interaction.   Make it clear to those who work with you what your availability schedule is.  Learn to bundle calls and when returning calls, stop and fully connect to the other person on the line.
  4. Laugh at the absurdities that otherwise contribute to your stress level.  A young lady in shorts, sitting next to me at the airport terminal, was the recent victim of a walk-by sneezing.  Another passenger inadvertently spit on her leg in his convulsion.  He ambled on oblivious.  She, however, quietly dug in her purse and pulled out a tissue.  She wiped her leg, careful to shield her actions from others… Except I caught her eye and we both howled with laughter.  Bless her heart, she showed class in an awkward situation and exemplified the statement “Stuff happens…deal with it!”
  5. Learn to say “NO” with love and affection.  Only you know what your priorities and life goals are.  Evaluate what others ask you to do, and then determine your response in terms of how it interfaces with your plans.
  6. Talk with those closest to you to gain a well rounded perspective regarding how your behavior impacts them.  Sometimes a mirror held up before us can tell more than what our mind eye chooses to rationalize.  It may not be pretty, but at least you will have an honest starting point on which to make your lifestyle decisions.
  7. Handle your business tasks correctly the first time you deal with them.  Often I consult with clients who feel like the rats in the race are winning… they are overwhelmed by the volume of work they deal with.  When I evaluate their efforts, often I find tasks are addressed multiple times for a variety of reasons.  My advice is simple – slow down and check twice.  Not a bad motto to live by.
  8. Balance your high tech and low tech mentality.  I believe, as humans, a disconnect is happening with our ability to interact effectively with others.  Using e-mail exclusively only broadens the distance between us and our clients.  Find ways to make your contact personal.  A warm voice over the phone or a quick face to face visit can go a long way to cement a relationship.  I’ve learned that it’s the eyes, body language, and tone of voice that speaks volumes – imparting information that e-mail could never provide.

I am working my way back to a simple understanding regarding my business aspirations:

I work so I can live. 

I believe we have to define how far we are willing to push ourselves before we damage the positive aspects of our lives that give us true satisfaction and joy.

It’s my choice.  It’s your choice… business as usual or live your life like you mean it.  Choose well.

Karel Murray is a Certified Speaking Professional, author of “Hitting Our Stride: Women, Work and What Matters” and business trainer who helps women entrepreneurs and executives resolve interpersonal issues and balance their work/personal lives. Now, you can listen to her exciting, free interviews that will help you maintain and sustain a healthy business and a healthy lifestyle at https://www.JustForAMomentPodcast.com

 

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by | April 3, 2012 · 9:51 am

Auto Focus

By Karel Murray

The phone has stopped ringing… It’s been a week… 2 weeks… business is unusually slow.  Do you over react?

I’ve discovered a growing phenomenon of sales professionals who seem to have “lost their way” as a result of a changing economy.  At one point, vision is clear and the path to success stretches on to a predictable future.  Then, for no apparent reason, when the phone stops ringing… nothing feels or appears normal.  The unexpected down time disrupts the energy and brows crease in concern.  Surely, there is something to blame – a cause that created this unnatural effect.

A typical response to the stress may be the impulse to “change” everything… update the web site, revise the logo, streamline services, add benefits, expand ad copy, buy better equipment, hire or fire staff… the list goes on.  The sense of “losing the market” grips firmly onto the salesperson’s perspective creating an unfocused, sporadic knee jerk reaction to what might be a simple issue.

The level of self imposed panic increases in direct relationship to the percentage of income earned from commission sales.  The number of phone calls symbolizes the business barometer.  When it flat lines – there’s trouble on the horizon.

Well…not necessarily.

Consider how a complex camera assembly works.  Professional photographers understand the image needs to be isolated and brought efficiently into focus by the maneuvering of levers and dials.  A non-professional usually purchases a camera that has “auto focus” where the camera is programmed to zero in on the image and like magic; the camera adjusts and clarifies the field.  Simplicity at it’s best.  That’s because a set of instructions and logical processes are already programmed in the camera.

Auto focus is a concept you can apply to your business process by understanding that shifts in the market are bound to occur.  Learn to adjust smoothly and effectively.

Evaluate Your Delivery Systems
Internal decline in processes often cause disruption in business.  Are you delivering your product or service at the level of quality demanded by your market?  Review your last ten to fifteen sales and evaluate the delivery system… does it duplicate your “promise” to the public?  If at first review, it is at the level you want, consider calling the last five clients and conduct a short interview to see if the perceived disruption is non system oriented.

For example:  Your call prompts this client response, “Well, Mark, you always sounded so busy and rushed that I didn’t want to bother you with little questions.”  Light bulb time.  This could reveal you how your tight schedule and elevated stress energy translates to the client as “you’re too busy to bother” with their concerns.

A sad fact is customers will gravitate to business professionals who only have eyes for them.  They must be convinced of your total concentration and know you aren’t thinking about the next deal, but are focused on them.  Period.

If, however, the responses from your inquiries are positive and in line with your expectations, move on.

Gain Perspective
Speak openly and honestly with other business professional in your field.  It will not only expand your knowledge and expertise, it will open doors to future referrals.  Consider establishing a Mastermind mentoring group which consists of people in your industry who:

a) Are successful in what they do
b) Have a competence and expertise in areas you need to develop
c)  Are ethical and trustworthy
d) Will also benefit from the association of other group members.

Assemble under ten members while establishing quarterly meetings designed to address industry issues, personal development, and feedback on projects.  I’d encourage a broad cross section of participants from different parts of the country – remember, it’s about perspective and expanding the focus field.

If this isn’t practical, then read – a lot!  Dedicate 30 minutes a day to personal development.  This practice could dramatically impact your overall ability to anticipate future trends and probable growth or decline issues to address for your business.

Research Outside Influences
Have legislative changes created a tidal wave of panic?  Access the internet and analyze legislative recommendations.  Are your sales declining due to lack of consumer confidence in your industry?  Is new legislation detrimental to the growth of your business?

Don’t hesitate to establish a dialog with your state representative or senator.  They are serving you.  Have your thoughts and concerns concisely outlined, then make the call or send the email.  Your perspective may be more valuable than you know.

Look Inside
Careers are not necessarily easily matched to emotional temperament. If your first reaction to business slumps is despair and excess worry, you probably won’t last long as a commissioned real estate sales person as your body and brain fail to assimilate the assault of extreme ups and downs.    You may have always dreamed of a sales profession, but if the consequence of living your dream is destroying your health, perhaps a reevaluation is necessary.

Career choice does matter.

Analyze The Need
The public rules… if your service or product is deemed a “luxury item” in a down-turning economy, your business may be the first to be negatively impacted.  Create a list of benefit statements that will re-establish need as defined by the current environment.  Determine how the services or products you offer can become a “must have” in the marketplace.  Remember, it’s all in how to you present it in relation to the current public concern.

Update Your Business Plan
Revisit the goals, objectives and input you have gained as a result of your investigation and update your business plan accordingly.  Establish a budget that accommodates changes and remember to build in flexibility.  When you are prepared financially to cover the natural “slumps” in production, you will be less likely to negatively over react.  Following a well built, consistent plan enhances the sense of personal control and minimizes the impact of a slowing marketplace.

In this day and age of rapidly shifting attitudes, loyalties, and expectations, you need to establish your business identity as “solid ground” – like the light house beam which guides fog bound ships to safe harbor.  World changes may speed by for the public, but you and your business should always remain in their line of sight.  Stop flailing around in a self imposed fog.  Set up your equipment, take aim and click…

Auto focus – it is not just a technique; it’s an attitude of confidence and tenacity.

Karel Murray is a Certified Speaking Professional, author of “Hitting Our Stride: Women, Work and What Matters” and business trainer who helps women entrepreneurs and executives resolve interpersonal issues and balance their work/personal lives. Now, you can listen to her exciting, free interviews that will help you maintain and sustain a healthy business and a healthy lifestyle at https://www.JustForAMomentPodcast.com

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by | February 20, 2012 · 8:57 am

What the ______ is Happening to Me?

by Gail Edgell

All of us can relate to being pulled in a thousand different directions, but when do you say enough is enough?

Peri-menopause tends to be a time of re-evaluation for many women.

According to Dr. Northrup, the brain totally rewires during these years. On top of it, altering hormones levels can cause
irritability, anxiety and forgetfulness which can add to uneasiness. The combination of the two can add up to a very ugly midlife if you are not careful.

I recently co-wrote the first book in the six part series, ‘What the Hell is Happening to Me?’. You can get a copy at https://amzn.to/zf5AyB. It is a perfect title for a book about midlife. It is almost as if things add up over the years and one day you say, how did I get like this and what can I do about it? Unfortunately, some women never get to this point and struggle the remaining years of their life. On the other hand, there are women who breeze through this time of their life.

Again, the question is why the difference?

So what do we know about women who feel great at this time of their life?

1. Self – women tend to worry about everyone else and put themselves at the bottom of the list. These women take time for themselves by getting a massage, meditating, deep breathing, taking a walk in the park, etc. Even if it is just a few minutes a day.

If your feathers are being ruffled from this statement, here is what I have to say. You only have so much in your emotional bank account. If it is continually being drained, eventually you will have nothing to give.

Taking care of you helps to balance hormone levels which really get out of whack with stress.

2. Mindset – we know that women that have a positive mindset going into this time of their life, have a better midlife. If you are constantly talking how bad things are in your life, you will emit that energy to the world and it will continue to be fulfilled in your life. Take a moment each day and be grateful for what you do have instead of what is not going right in the world. Most important start changing your beliefs. Realize that stress is only created because we are not living up to a belief that you have set in your own mind.

3. Peace – women who have unresolved emotional distress from prior years, will most likely have a more difficult menopause transition. Things such as marital difficulties, incest and physical abuse are all examples. If you have dealt with these things head on, that is awesome, but if you have stuffed them under the covers, it is time to face them head on. Journal your feelings and even get a professional to help you work through these issues.

4. Healthy Living – women who live a clean life which includes eating whole foods, exercising and minimizing their exposure to environmental toxins, have less menopausal symptoms. This goes hand in hand with every disease out there; making healthy choices decreases your risk of just about every ailment or disease on the planet. You may be asking, but how do I start and my simple answer is just pick one thing to change. For example: commit to drinking one more glass of water a day or eating an extra vegetable, perhaps buying organic poultry or laundry detergent that does not harm you or the environment. Just start.

5. Last, but certainly not least – sit down and make a list of things that are no longer serving you. Start clearing your plate to spend time with you and things that really feed your soul. Perhaps releasing a group you belong to, friends that are negative or even a business relationship. What is draining you?

Then, on a separate sheet of paper write down things that would “feed” your soul. Perhaps it is nature, spending time with your kids, getting a massage, etc. Then put it in your calendar and commit to them.

You are worth it. You have a lot to contribute in this world. Be of service to others but most important love yourself.

Menopause does not have to be a mystery. But it certainly is a cross road in life and a choice. Which one are you going to take.

Take a step toward great health and well being. Get your copy of part 1 of the 6 part series, ‘What the Hell is Happening to Me?’ kindle version by going to https://amzn.to/zf5AyB. Or go read more great articles and find menopause experts at https://www.360Menopause.com.

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by | February 14, 2012 · 9:07 am

What Story are You Living?

by Valerie R. Sheppard

One of my Lollipop Ship sisters (long and lovely story for another time) mentioned being asked this question as part of one of her transformational workshops.  I love its simultaneouslysimple yet profound nature, which I’ve experienced is often the case with big questions or statements.  I couldn’t help but ponder.

The “story” that I’m living has been a primary subject as I’ve been immersed in and devoted to my journey of transformation over the past several years.   This journey started with the simple question of “Who Am I?” in the midst of a profound experience that landed me in the emergency room at Hoag Hospital.  It’s continued with many variations on that theme, as well as completely different themes altogether, as I’ve peeled back layers to get beyond the surface.

I uncovered the past being lived as if it were the present, fiction being lived as if it were truth, and worn-out habits being lived as if they were the only options for how to live.  At the beginning, the journey often left me exhausted and weeping, feeling judgment, blame, shame and guilt.  But as I’ve gone higher into Consciousness and deeper into the True nature of mySelf, I know everything is part of a Greater Plan, and every situation is a gift of my Soul’s unfolding evolution.

The story I’m living now is about being the Peace, Love, Joy and Freedom I came here to be, and to shepherd as many people there with me as I can.  I like to think big, so I’m inviting multitudes into their own such journeys, and I’m sharing my experiences both as witness and supporter.

Is your current story about lack, limitation, fear, sadness, or hurt?  Does it have chaos, clutter, catastrophe behind every door?  Are your relationships characterized by betrayal, silence, anger, or abuse?   These situations are calling you to write a new story.

Is there happiness, but it feels too fleeting?  Are you doing fine, but not feeling content and fulfilled?  Is your life good when you want great?  These situations are calling you to write a new story.

Whatever the seminal simple and profound question is for you, whatever the time and place you ask it, I encourage you to get on with the asking. Ask the really juicy questions about your life, why you’re here, and why you do what you do.  Take time away from the busy-busy-go-go-go nature of that doingness, and invest some time in doingness that’s about getting clarity. Where do your own past and present collide, where is illusion masquerading as reality in your life, and where have old worn-out habits become all there is for you?  What aspects of the story are you holding as the very “you-ness of you,” when they actually no longer serve you? What will be your shift into the story you were meant to live?

It’s only in doing the exploration that we find the treasure.  My treasure chest of awakenings continues to provide me bountiful gifts. I’m living my Happy to Be ME!story.  When will you begin to live yours?

So here you go … What story are you living?

Blessings, Love and Light!

I can help you go deeper than the surface and become free from what no longer serves you in your story.  Join my FREE Heartful Awakening Circle online community at www.HeartfulAwakenings.com and receive my “Smooth Sailing” eBook, monthly coaching calls and more!  You can also contact me for a complimentary private “From Tired to Inspired” consultation or to book a private coaching engagement: valerie@HeartofLivingVibrantly.com.

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