by | June 9, 2011 · 6:00 am

The Wrong Thing Well -OR- the Right Thing Poorly?

Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

I’ve learned an important lesson this quarter, and it’s about the “Hard Work” part of the Big Dreams and Hard Work we talk about here. I’ve always been a focused, hard worker – you know that “Protestant Work Ethic” idea?  And I have a strong confidence in my own ability to do anything I set my mind to, and I pretty much always have done that (except for my forray into raising rabbits – I’ll talk about that next week).

The curse of being able to do a lot of stuff, like code web sites, sew clothing, can beans, grind wheat, make bread from scratch, clean house, create gardens, train dogs…..is that it just isn’t possible to enjoy all those things. I’m not a professional seamstress or a skilled web designer, but I often get myself caught in a “should” of since-I-know-how-to-do-that, I SHOULDN’T pay-someone-else syndrome. I know one thing:

“Many high performers would rather do the wrong thing well than do the right thing poorly. And when they do find themselves in over their head, they’re often unwilling to admit it, even to themselves, and refuse to ask for the help they need.”

I’ve been stuck for the last several weeks, trying to do some wrong things, and struggling to do the right things poorly.  Last week, I hired a professional to do some things that I know how to do, albeit poorly, and it’s an enormous relief to my schedule, to my creativity, and to my day.

What on earth have I been ‘thinking’ all these years? What are you able to do, albeit poorly that you could ask an expert to help you with?

Comments Off on The Wrong Thing Well -OR- the Right Thing Poorly?

Filed under Balance, Image & Identity, Sheryl Eldene, Strategy

by | June 8, 2011 · 10:37 am

Windmills of your Mind

By Gail Z. Martin

Remember Don Quixote who jousted with windmills?  The image evokes a noble but losing battle.  There’s also the old song Windmills of Your Mind, homage to the thoughts  on the edge of waking and sleeping, ideas that go round and round in your head.

Recently, I saw a rather dangerous combination of the two ideas that, unfortunately, is all too common among business people.  It’s the vicious cycle of attract/repel that keeps some people frozen in place, never able to make true progress.

Twice now I’ve had business owners seek me out for my opinion on marketing and ask for my advice.  However, as soon as I toss out a few ideas, the windmills crank up and the negative winds start to blow.  Every suggestion or idea is met with a reason why it can’t work.

One person got quite heated about it, declaring that it was impossible to market in her industry for a variety of reasons.  Now true, that particular industry has more hurdles than most, but as I pointed out to this person, some of the largest companies in that field do have a blogging and social media presence.  She immediately proceeded to tell me what it would work for them but not for her. She was so busy defending her position that nothing was possible that she could not hear anything I said.

In the other case, outdated assumptions severely limited the person’s options.  She was an accountant who wanted to create a package of services/educational products related to estate planning but outside of actual accounting.  She came to me to ask how to get people to attend the events she planned to hold.  When I started to suggest traditional and new media ways to promote the new package, she told me quite heatedly that accountants don’t advertise, can’t advertise, not by law but by convention.  Funny, I heard that line of thinking from physicians 25 years ago, and now physician advertising (tasteful, understated but still promotional) is quite common. And also, there are resources available specifically tailored for accountants for dentists. I’ve also seen similar low-key but effective promotion for accountants.  And I pointed out that the new package was not accounting.  No matter–her mind was made up.

What happened?  In both cases, some desire compelled these two people to seek me out for advice.  They knew my line of work, so it should have come as no surprise that I suggested ways to market.  Yet the windmills of their minds–outdated ideas, critical voices, fears and doubts, were too strong.  They were trapped going round and round with old, limiting ideas and fears, unwilling to even consider a new way to approach the situation.  They missed the chance to move forward.

How about you?  What windmills do you have in your mind? Where are your thoughts trapped by fears, doubts and outdated ideas?  They may be costing you valuable opportunities!

Comments Off on Windmills of your Mind

Filed under Gail Z. Martin, Intentions, Sales

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | June 2, 2011 · 5:00 am

Flash your · · · — — — · · ·

By Sheryl Eldene, MBA, MA

Before the era of 911, everyone knew the Morse Code for SOS, (· · · — — — · · ·).  Since we don’t use that anymore, I’m giving SOS a new meaning:

SIGNS of STRENGTH.

Master these 7 Signs of Strength and the help can come in the form of improved relationships, greater joy and connection with yourself, better self-care, enhanced communication, and greater success toward your goal.  Over there on the left under “Author Audios” you’ll find an exercise to help you identify your own unique character strengths, be sure to give that a listen today.

  1. Respond instead of react. When we react, we are usually acting from defense and from weakness.  If you respond from your strength, the response is very different.  For example, one of my character strengths is curiosity.  When my husband lands on my for leaving dirty dishes in the sink, my reaction is to recount all the time he leaves hairs in the shower AND junk in the garage, I’ve pretty much launched WWIII and have no idea what any sign of strength might be.  However, if I can respond from my strength of curiosity, wondering why this particular afternoon, those dishes where a difficulty, then I have launched a discussion that might not be all lovey-dovey, but can result in my putting those dishes on the counter on Monday’s so he has space to prepare for his evening with his buddies with the munchies he promised to bring.
  2. Identify and learn from your judgemnts. Judgments are often a reflection or our own inner needs and values. Really, when I judge you as negligent and rude when you use the merge lane to jump in from on ME, I’m acting from my own value of patience, of order, and of structure.  It’s a lot easier to talk to myself as you try to cut in front of the line by saying that “Yes, structure and order are important to me – not so much to you, and I see that fast and me-first is more important to you.  I wonder what part of my life would benefit from more order – my kitchen counters, probably”.
  3. Reach out when you need it. Asking for help is not a weakness.  Although our country is build on independence, and that is a strength, you can also use the strength of community, sharing, and mutual support.  That support must go both ways for each party to feel strong.
  4. Keep your word – especially to yourself. Any strength put on like a coat just for company isn’t really a strength, it’s a show.  If you have a value to keeping your word to others, but fail to exercise, avoid sugar, go to bed early, whatever, because when you cheat on you no one knows, then your word is just for show, and your heart suffers.
  5. Take time for yourself. This isn’t narcissistic or indulgent – it’s absolutely necessary.  The airlines got it right when they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child’s – because if you don’t, the child and you might not make it.  Caring for yourself helps you care for others better, and models for those around you what a healthy lifestyle looks like.
  6. Know what you want. While meandering through life is fun, without knowing what you want, you’ll just get more of what you have today, which might be just fine.  Take time to figure out what floats your boat, not what should float your boat, but what really does.
  7. Don’t take things personally, even if it sounds personal, it usually isn’t.  As a matter of fact, I believe that we are simply not capable of judging others.  If I tell you you’re beautiful, I’m really saying that you have a feature, or a manner, or a style of dressing that I’d like – which is about me, not you.  If I tell you that you’re fat, I’m really saying that I have a value of slim-ness that I haven’t achieved and I’m afraid that I won’t achieve that – otherwise your shape wouldn’t even get my attention, let alone get energy for me to say something.

Comments Off on Flash your · · · — — — · · ·

Filed under Balance, Image & Identity, Inner Coach, Personal Transitions, Sheryl Eldene, Uncategorized

by | June 1, 2011 · 10:11 am

Who are your market makers?

By Gail Z. Martin

I owe a debt to a friend of mine, Chia-li Chen, for coining the phrase “market makers” (you can listen to her this month on my Shared Dreams podcast at (www.SharedDreamsPodcast.com).  It’s a brilliant phrase, and a brilliant idea.

“Market makers” are the partners who help you reach a wider audience than you would have otherwise been able to meet.  They are the event promoters who invite you to speak at a national conference, the large corporation that  buy a quantity of your book as an incentive prize, or maybe the corporate website that hosts you on a teleseminar for all of their clients.

Who are your market makers?

Sometimes, people stumble into market makers, but most of the time, it’s intentional.  It comes from having a clear idea of who your ideal client is, and where you can find them in clusters.  Market makers also help you accelerate your growth by connecting with you to lots of your ideal prospects, instead of you having to find those prospects one at a time.

How do you know a market maker when you see it?  Think about the companies that serve your ideal clients, who provide complementary—not competing—services, and that are organized enough so that affiliation with them creates scalable growth for you.  What companies would be a great fit for you as a speaker or for your books?   What organizations could hire you over and over again to consult or speak, or provide large orders of product?

Then it’s up to you to network your way in front of decision makers with a great win-win proposal.  When there’s a good match, both sides will clearly see the benefit.

Who are your market makers?

Comments Off on Who are your market makers?

Filed under Gail Z. Martin, Marketing, Strategy

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | May 26, 2011 · 7:00 am

How do you spell Success – Creativity or Innovation?

Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

It is said that creativity consists of thinking new things, while innovation consists of doing new things. How do you spell success?

When we talk about success, it depends on the goal or the end one has in mind, whether creativity, innovation, or same-old-same-old might pave the road to success. If my goal is to increase marketing share, innovation may be necessary, depending on the maturity of that market. If feeling alive as a CEO and creating a long term sustainable business is the goal, then innovation is core.  However, when I’m working with different groups of people, how I might think about women, or men, or hispanics, or gen Y’s will color my success so here, creativity and thoughtful intention will be needed. If having dinner prepared in time, then same-old-same-old works better. Like Covey says, “Begin with the end in mind” and the process, tools, and resources present themselves.

What paves your road to success as you move toward your intended goals?

Comments Off on How do you spell Success – Creativity or Innovation?

Filed under Balance, Business Planning, Intentions, Sheryl Eldene

by | May 25, 2011 · 10:09 am

Carousel of Customer Service

By Gail Z. Martin

We’re big Disney fans in my household, and usually, Disney is synonymous with exceptional customer service.  That’s one of the expectations with a Disney vacation—all of the usual hang-ups and headaches that come with traveling, hotels, etc. just don’t happen when you’re with the Mouse.

We forget that even Disney employees are human, and one of them provided a real case study in customer service on a recent trip.

We were on the Carousel of Progress, a moving theater where the audience’s seats move around a stationary core with an audioanimatronic show.  We had barely gotten started, when a voice came over the loud speaker telling everyone to stay in their seats, that it was not OK to leave the theater.  Now on this ride, there are four audience sections that are divided so they can’t see each other.  No one in our section had moved.  We’d been yelled at, but no one knew why.

The ride stared up again, but a few minutes later, the same voice came one again.  It was uncomfortably loud, and he was telling everyone to get back in their seats and sit down in a voice that was more first-grade teacher than entertainment employee. No one in our section had moved, so we were looking at each other wondering what was going on.  This time, we had to sit through one part of the show twice because apparently, someone somewhere was misbehaving.

This kept happening until it got to the point where the guy on the PA system was totally strung out, shouting at adults to get back in their seats, threatening all kinds of things if everyone didn’t listen.  Now, people in our section (who hadn’t gotten to see any of the show uninterrupted) were getting up to leave.  Kids were crying because the announcements were painfully loud.

What went wrong?  For one thing, the guy on the PA didn’t make it clear up front that this attraction was different from all the other Disney theaters, where the live host actually invites people who have to leave to just quietly find an exit.  Because the audience section moved, having people leave caused a safety problem, but first-time guests wouldn’t know that.

Secondly, the host forgot that we were his guests, not his subjects, or its kids.  Instead of just stopping and offering to let everyone out who wanted out, he tried to force a largely adult group to stay in their seats like children.  He forgot that it was our vacation, and he was there to make it enjoyable.

And third, he lost his cool—big time.  By the end of it, he was shrieking at us over the PA system like a stressed out parent about to go postal.  He’d gone from ordering us to threatening us, to shouting us into submission.  He forgot that he worked for us.  Our admission tickets paid his salary. But he also tried to control something he couldn’t—the actions of other adults—by force.  Had he explained the safety issue, and given people a chance to leave if they wanted to, odds are that the rest of the show would have gone smoothly.  Instead, it became a show no one will ever forget (and from the line of people who gathered afterwards and demanded to see his supervisor, I don’t think he’ll forget it either).

The moral of the story—lead, don’t force, and always remember to serve your customer

Comments Off on Carousel of Customer Service

Filed under Gail Z. Martin, Marketing, Social Media

Tagged as , , ,

by | May 19, 2011 · 7:30 am

Making a Living, or Making a Life?

Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

There’s a bumper sticker that I see around that says “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”. It just breaks my heart, and I find myself wanting to pull over the driver and, in my fantasy, be that altruistic millionaire from the TV show, and invite them off that hook with a big fat check. I shortly snap myself back to reality, though, and realize that it’s really all about intention, and a million dollars won’t help someone whose intention is to just go to work and drudge through the day.

If the intention is to make a living, create enough cash flow to stay out of debt and to put a roof over your head, then the way you get out of bed and the creative energy you use is specific to that intention. In this mode, you may get out of bed with an alarm clock to help you punch in at work on time. You get out of bed grumbly and drag yourself to work. Your creativity and joy are buried under a heap of that gumbling and you have very few areas of your life that are energizing or fun.

If your intention is to make a life, you may very well go to exactly the same job in the previous scenario. You still get up with the alarm clock, but, since this is the life your are creating, you might enjoy a morning walk with your tunes, your dog, or even a friend. On the way to work, if finding joy at work is the life you intend, then you may be thinking about the day’s projects and the day’s contacts and how you can enjoy them. If not, you may be thinking about your lunch plans, and crafting in your mind how to teach your young-in to catch better or memorize history lessons.

You can make a life while making a living, and some people make a life out of making a living (those career focused people – of whom I am one).  If, however, you find those times when you’re just making a living and not loving it – that might be a good time to revisit your intentions.

  1. When you were 16 or 18, before you began your adult life, what did you dream it might be? 
  2. What part of that dream might you incorporate into this day? 
  3. Is it time to step back and ask what it is you really want in your life? 
  4. What values do you live by that need to be expressed in your life?
  5. What brings you joy, and how can that be incorporated into your day?

As we focus this month on intentions, we’re inviting you to examine your deepest intentions, and explore how they might  be expressed.

Comments Off on Making a Living, or Making a Life?

Filed under Balance, Intentions, Motivation, Sheryl Eldene, Uncategorized

by | May 18, 2011 · 10:07 am

Too busy to notice

By Gail Z. Martin

I do a lot of signings in bookstores.  My table is always right up at the door, and I try to greet everyone who comes in with a smile, a free bookmark and a 10 second question to connect with people who like to read my kind of book.

It works well for about 75% of the people who come in.  And the rest?  They’re too busy to notice.  Many of them are talking on their cell phones.  They’re so busy talking to people who aren’t there, they have no time to meet someone who’s standing right in front of them.

Others are in a hurry.  They brush past you without making eye contact like they’re afraid you’re going to spray perfume on them or ask for a buck.  Sometimes, they cut me off before I can finish my “Did you get a bookmark?” question with a curt “Don’t want one.”  How would they know?  They have no idea what I’m offering them  or who I am, or why I’m there.

So what did they miss?  Well, they missed meeting an honest-to-goodness author, which for some people counts as sorta cool.  They missed finding out about a book they or someone they know might have liked.  But they could have missed out on a million dollars, the love of their life, or their next job for all they know, because they were in too much of a hurry to find out what was being offered because they were too busy.

What are you missing out on because you’re too busy to notice?  Flowers in the garden?  Kids who won’t stay the age they are forever?  A spouse who is trying to talk to you?  Neighbors who might turn into friends?  Acquaintances who might become clients?  You’ll never know until you slow down enough to listen.

Comments Off on Too busy to notice

Filed under Gail Z. Martin, Inner Coach, Marketing

Tagged as , , ,

by | May 11, 2011 · 10:05 am

Finding your Sasha Fierce

By Gail Z. Martin

If you’re a Beyonce fan, then you know  that according to the star, she’s actually not as “out there” as her stage persona.  In fact, Beyonce psyches herself up for performances by mentally playing a role, a character she calls Sasha Fierce.

I think that’s brilliant, and it got me wondering—have you found your own Sasha Fierce?

There are so many times in business that you have to go public when inside, you’re thinking “I’m not ready yet!”  And yet, you have to go.  It may be doing a presentation that you wish you had another month to practice, or making a sales pitch to a prospect that is a big opportunity.  Maybe it’s rolling out a product that is as good as you can make it but not perfect.  You focus on the maybes and the fear, instead of strutting your stuff.

Time to find your Sasha Fierce.

Pretend you have an alter-ego (all the superheroes do, why not you?).  This alter-ego is whatever you think you’re not—extroverted, comfortable on stage, never at a loss for words, quick on her feet, good at closing a sale, etc.  Imagine you’re writing a play with the alter-ego as a character.  Describe him/her in detail.  Make it like a real person.  And when you’re done, try on your “secret identity” for size, like a suit of clothes.  (Ever notice that superheroes always change clothes when they go from alter-ego to hero?)  You don’t even need a phone booth (what does Superman do now that everyone has cell phones?).

Step into your version of Sasha Fierce, and pretend you’re the actor playing the role.  No one needs to know except you.  In the role, could you be bold?  Could you take charge of the situation?  Make the sale? Close the deal?  Could you get on stage without shaking?  If so, then you’ve learned what Beyonce already knows—everyone needs a Sasha Fierce.

Comments Off on Finding your Sasha Fierce

Filed under Gail Z. Martin, Inner Coach, Sales

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | May 5, 2011 · 8:00 am

Amnesia, anyone?

By Sheryl Eldene, MA, MBA

I’ve been fascinated with movies about people who wake up, usually in the hospital and don’t know their name, and don’t remember their roles (wife, husband, employee) or their habits (happy guy, quiet person, music lover).  While on the one hand, that seems like a nightmare that you’d want to wake up from, my fantasy is that it would be the most freeing day of the year.  As we talk about being your own coach this month, what if you could start tomorrow on an absolutely clean slate – what would you create for your life?

An important part of Big Dreams is the ability to dream them.  So often yesterday’s definitions about who you are, what you can do, and how you act keep yanking you out of your dream.  If tomorrow were actually the first day of your life, and you’re starting with the advantage of you can already walk, talk your language, and you know some social mores like shaking hands, smiling when spoken to, remaining clothed in public – you can go forward into this brand new day anyway you like.

We’re suggesting this month that you exercise your inner-coach-muscle.  How about beginning with as blank a slate as you can and moving forward into your day with new Big Dreams.  If you catch yourself making the month’s plans by rote, just because it’s how you’ve always done it, see if that inner-coach-muscle might flex in a different way.

I’m doing a big break-out from the mold this week.  I’m taking a vacation by myself to a health spa, just because.  I’m sure that if I woke up some day in a hospital and couldn’t remember my name, as soon as I remembered how to travel, and discovered that I had enough money in my accounts to cover a few days at a spa – I would jump on the chance.  So I’m doing it – and I even remember my name and my husband and children’s names (although maybe for just a few days out there on the ranch I won’t even care what my name is).

Comments Off on Amnesia, anyone?

Filed under Dreams, Motivation, Passion & Potential, Sheryl Eldene

Tagged as , , ,